The Visitation

Tonight Paul and I went to the visitation for our friend from the Bookmobile. It was so great to see so many people there. There were pictures of Dale growing up and of his adulthood working on the bookmobile. We chatted with Jermaine and waited for Brenda. Brenda and Dale were partners, they worked together for years. It will be so different for her. When someone close dies, it makes you want to cherish moments more. Hug your kids a little tighter, a few more times a day. Have a little more patience with them. I know that death is a part of this life, but knowing that doesn't make living with death any easier.

A week of change and loss

I haven't blogged in a while other than utterz because we have been so busy. Alexandra has been going to VBS in Otsego with Grandma Erbe. At first she was really tenative but then she jumped right in the second day and I left without a tear being shed. She also has been staying with Grandma last night and tomorrow night. Sebastian had a hard time with Alexandra being gone too. He cried last night and told me he wanted his Sissy. I also noticed just a little bit that my little girl isn't so little anymore. She making it on her own at least as much as an almost 5 year old can. I cried a few tears over that this week. I'm also thankful though that she's having alone time with Grandma and Grandpa. I have great memories of spending time with both sets of my Grandparents and I'm glad she's getting that now.

You've probably read before that we go to the bookmobile every Tuesday. We've gotten really close with the 3 people who work for the library. Brenda, Jermaine and Dale. We didn't get to see Dale that often but when we did we really enjoyed getting to know him. Brenda called yesterday to let me know they wouldn't be coming because Dale had passed away. His parents found him on Monday, they believe he had a heart attack. He was only 40. We had just seen him that last Tuesday. Brenda wanted us to know that he told her on Wednesday (after seeing us on Tuesday) that he wishes he could have Tuesday as his stop so he could see us more often. He also said he thought we were really great people. We'll be heading to the visitation tomorrow.

Atticus is still in our bedroom, well I should say he was until tonight! I had to take the crib apart to do it but he is now in with Sebastian and Alexandra. He cried a little but he settled down and when I went in the deal with the other two getting out of their bed, he waved bye bye to me. We'll see how tomorrow morning goes with all three of them in the same room. What a trip that should be. No sleeping in until 8 AM tomorrow.

I'm not who I was, Praise God!

There's a song right now that WaYfm's playing called "I'm not who I was". It's by a singer songwriter Brandon Heath. For some reason, God has used this song to remind me
of the work he's done in my life over the last few years. It's amazing to look back at times when I was so selfish and self-centered. Not that I don't still struggle with those things but God has worked some of that out of my life. God has used the change in jobs (staying home with the kids), going through three pregnancies in 4 years, struggling with depression, our church closure, a new church start and much more. Even though I don't think there was a huge change all at once but over time. I'm thankful for that. I can't imagine what that change would look like. It makes me love God more because he's taken time and effort to show me the areas that I needed to change. If you'd like to hear the song and play the video the link's below! Thanks be to God that I"m not who I was!