Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I think it was harder on me

Today was the day I had been dreading for a while. Sebastian started his preschool class today. We all headed to the school. Sebastian went right in and started to play. We had to check in with the lunch lady and once we left he started to cry. We peeked in the window and the Teacher told me that he was upset and she was holding him. She told me to go. I started to cry as we walked out the door. Alexandra asked me what was wrong. I told her that dropping Sebastian was hard for me and it made me sad. I could tell she didn't get it. I cried more on the way home. We got home and got Atticus to bed and Alexandra was getting ready for rest time. I started to cry again. Alexandra said, mom you don't have to be sad, I'm not sad. He'll be back in a couple of hours. Plus, you have that other boy in the other room." I laughed through my tears and I said, "I also have you". We picked him up around 3:30 PM and he was really happy to see us. The Teacher said he did really well and got a star on his hand for helping to pick up toys. She said they played in the gym and he was kicking balls and running around. He told me as we left that he had a good time and wanted to go back. He fell asleep on the way home and he slept in the car for about an hour. He was a little out of sorts tonight, I think it'll be a few days or even into next week to transition out of his nap time.

I of course analyzed why this was so upsetting to me to leave him at preschool today. I cried when I dropped Alexandra off but I also knew she and I were both ready. I hadn't prepared myself for this like I did with her. I think my other concern was that the teachers wouldn't get him, like I get him and maybe they won't but that doesn't mean they can't help him. I also don't want him to be mistreated. It's not that I get that feeling but it would pain me to know we made this decision and it hurt him in some way instead of helping him. I guess I'll leave it at that for now. I'm sure I'll have more thoughts tomorrow.

No comments: